Reorientation

I took the morning off today. I did some housework to unclutter the space where I am to spend some time thinking of what I planned to do the weekend that passed that I did not get to do. Or just plain ask myself what I am supposed to do today, or for the rest of the month for that matter. In fact, I placed the calendar on a very conspicuous position so I could be made aware of the passing of the days. I don’t know, but when I looked at today and the weeks after it before the month ends, it seemed like so many days.

I have a pile of readings I wanted to read – but I’m really wanting to give purpose to my day, I placed them aside and thought I should write. Writing will probably do me better. When I am merely quiet, I can spend hours without anything running consciously through my mind. It’s like staring into blank space. My only achievement in that case would be having stayed quiet. Stillness has its own benefits. This moment, however, I want my brain to churn out ideas, or goals, a purpose for living, at least for this day or this week, or this month. An article about old people in Japan that I read a few weeks back had this quote from one older person: “People are happy as long as they have a goal.” It was pure wisdom. It also means that if I don’t come up with something, I am one unhappy person. I have to smile to that, or maybe chuckle, which I just did.

I had some scripts in mind, after a moment of thought. But there is one goal that could sum up whatever it is that I’ll end up doing. It was something which a newfound friend of mine said after a send – off meal --- “Just enjoy.” I think that’s what I’ll do.