Dear Daughter

There is much to learn after reading Cosmopolitan magazine for the first time, and I am already 27 years old. I felt like Rip Van Winkle waking up after a hundred years. But my initial shock of the modern Filipino perspective on relationships has now turned to fear. I fear for you, even though you are still yet only alive in my dreams. I fear for the world you will be growing up in when you would finally be born as my flesh and blood and not merely a vision that floats around in the amniotic fluid of my imagery.
I have quite a good idea of who your father will be, although I would be plagued by uncertainty when I realize how so many differences we have, including perspectives on virtue. I fear even more for you when you would be woman and have your own stories of young love.
The world has changed many times over on how it does romance. I have not really paid much attention to it so my lack of knowledge and experience makes me a most unlikely candidate for expert. I concede to knowing little and idealizing much, which explains why I should be so shocked at what is now reality. This will be the reality you’ll be growing up in and I wonder what you’ll say or do when you are told, “everybody does it.” I wonder if you’ll be like everybody else, because it’s hard not to be like everybody.
We have words for men we’ve dreamed to have in our lives – Romeo, Prince Charming, Valentino. I wonder if you’d still be using these same words or these same images when your time comes. I wonder if fairy tales would have different endings when they are told on your time. Amidst my wondering, I only wish that when there comes a man who would like to awaken your womanly passions so his manly desires may also be met, he would not be like everybody else.
He’d get to know you first, treat you as sister and friend and you’d get to know him as brother and friend without the pretention or pressure of havign to please just to make a conquest. I wish he’d know you so well, when he finally asks to win your heart, he’d be asking to win it so you could be his forever, and with certainty, because he has prayed for you for a long time and God said ok.
I wish he’d tell your father and me of his intentions so that we may know he respects us as your parents and that his intents are pure. I wish he’d still do special little things for you, even if you find them corny. I wish he’d write you love letters even in a time of emails and SMS. I wish he’ll take more effort to ensure that as you fall in love with him, you are falling in love even more with God, rather than demanding your whole attention towards him. I wish he’ll respect you and treasure you and keep you pure, even if he would have to restrain himself with much effort. I wish he wait in taking possession of your body and inviting you to engage in the ritual of making love only after you have both said your vows in front of God. I will not wish that you would someday grow up to be a Cosmopolitan girl. I wish you’d grow up to be a woman of character in a Cosmopolitan world, surpassing your mother, and grandmothers, because your challenges are far greater than ours.
Everybody might think you’re Rip Van Winkle, old fashioned, anti-modern, but then, you will not be like everybody and you will not do what everybody does unless it is right.
I wish.